You and I Know Bad Manners When We See Them

"1. I have no doubt been guilty of being a NOEITEU at one time or another. But I must admit I always apologize for being oblivious. My personal experience with NOEITEUs includes people who think everyone enjoys the little tyrant or tyrantita that they are raising. But I can't say that I like your kid coming and bothering me while I'm eating, and I certainly don't want you turning them loose in my office like it's McDonald's Playland.
2. My preferred way of paying homage them is to say, "I beg your pardon. How rude of me to not see you smack in the middle of the way.""

"Thank you Andy for sharing this thought on the NOEITEU. Indeed, our world is full of givers and takers (the NOEITEU falling into the later group). I also think of the givers as servants, those focused on Being Great... "Whoever wants to be great must become a servant" Mark 10:23. Thank you Andy for Being Great :)"

"They are everywhere! They are on the highways, in supermarkets, walking down the street...everywhere!

In addition, have you ever been near a school and watched the kids slowly crossing the street when cars are waiting? They seem to be intentionally trying to stall while walking. I don't get it.

The problem is parents are not teaching their kids good manners any more. Imagine if teachers in school actually had a session on manners instead of all the crap they waste time on now."

"Sadly to say, I am guilty of being an NOEITEU on occassion. I try to be considerate of people for the most part an at times just forget where I am or what I am doing. That said my biggest frustration with NOEITEUs are the ones who stand in an aisle and block it with their carts while shopping and as you stand there waiting for them to see you and move seem to be totally oblivious to anyone around them. Eventually one will say louder than normal excuse me and they might move or they decide to move on, on their own.

We recognize them by the lost look on their faces and I think just pray for them. I do think tho' that we all have moments like that."

"These NOEITEU's shop at crowded Home Goods Stores. These people go with their shopping carts, bumping in to all the regular folks, and reach across us, grabbing what they think must be the MODITEU...that is is the Most Outstanding Deal in the Entire Universe!!! These people will actually snatch items out of your hands, if you don't watch out....Just like the seagulls steal a sandwich out of your hands at the beach!!!"

"My experience on a regular basis is with drivers who realize they are in the wrong lane of traffic. Instead of going ahead with their wrong turn and making a u-turn a little further down the road only inconveniencing themselves, they'll block 10 cars (or more) from moving while they try to get into the correct lane. My usual way to respond to NOEITEUs (which I've been myself) is to shake my head in disgust as I go by."

"I suppose we all have moments where our awareness is more like a spotlight than a lantern, and that spotlight focuses on us. But some people do seem to live in that self-directed spotlight of focus, or in extreme cases a laser beam! Usually my experience is from people asking me perform a task for their benefit with no consideration for my other obligations. As if I have nothing else to do, or what I would have to sacrifice is meaningless compared to the benefit they would get. Maybe like the "I Am Second" brand we should start a "Me 1st" brand. We can hand out buttons and stickers with "Me 1st" on them to anyone displaying this behavior excessively. The slogan for Me 1st: Who else is there?"

"My personal experience centers around every time I travel to NYC - get on a subway or into or out of Grand Central Station at rush hour, or get run over by someone jumping ahead of you to get a cab.....
A lot of these people were raised "the right way" it's just survival of the fittist in a densely populated area."

"Recent Experience: Egg customer (we sell @ 8 doz/day from cooler at front door, successful 'honor system') encouraging @5 yo daughter to help herself to a plum from baskets for sale on railing. Meanwhile grandma and 2yo were long gone on our property with the farm animals and whatever else. Stated and restated 6 (8-10?) times that the next customer receives less than his/her share when daughter takes from fruit (buy first, or ask us for one), that our animals are disturbed by strangers' movements without us, not OK, please refrain, ultimately repeating truth, it is disrespectful (said respectfully :-) ). Not the first time with her? Correct. Has she returned? Negative. Do I have peace about it. Yes, thank you Lord. BEST PART-they give us FULL appreciation and far greater noticing skills for the opposite type of people... who are 'heaven sent' and make our day/life immeasurably better by their contrasting awareness. 'Tis my final focus."

"Andy, the NOEITEU drivers are all over the middle Tennessee area! ;-)"

"Wow! Some great comments by others. Thoughts: Servant status; best of all!! We raise our children by example of the Word, not by word - my children reflect me/my attitude/my actions. Anything less than servant attitude and conduct is my lacking in the character of Christ, whether brief of perpetual."

"They walk amongst us everyday! some Purposely and some Absent-mindedly. Personally I love the NOEITEUs that come to church and think the whole pew is theirs alone.
Just another spice in the variety of life!"

"And these same people vote. Prayer is most certainly needed for them and more importantly, their children!"

"I normally avoid such people. However, if the world doesn't hold them accountable, then they will never get the message.
I hate it when I hear people talking loudly in a public place so everyone can hear their conversation like we are interested or what?
I am sure I probably do stupid things but I do try to make an effort at being private about it if I can. I think nicely saying something to someone so they can first be aware that they maybe doing something that maybe bothersome to others would be a good idea. However, sometimes I resort to sarcasm. Not nice. Liz"

"My experience with the type person you describe is that we should take pity on them.

They are in a human state and still burdened with Selfishness, Self Centeredness and Arrogance. If we are lucky enough to have been introduced to our soul self and have a Conscious Contact with Our Creator; then the rule for me is; To Whom much is given, much is expected. Once our veil is lifted, then patience, tolerance and forgiveness is my answer. Why drink the poison and hope ' the other guy' dies. Carrying a resentment and non-forgiveness is how we make ourselves sick.
Offer some help and move on :-) Always easier said than done! :-)"

"NOEITEUs love to frequent coffee houses. They park in front of the condiments and prepare "their" beverage while the rest of the working world waits for them to perfect their beverage.."

"Andy- The Washington DC metro folks are already taking action to deal with the NOEITEU people who use the metro rail system or at least they have posted signs to warns us of their presence. They have posted signs to warn us of the ESCALUMP. An Escalump is someone who stops at the end of the escalator and thus becomes a human speed bump. Could this go National???"

"The NOEITEU"s are most definitely all over. On the sidewalk, highway, airport and the most obvious place i notice it is while standing in the checkout line at any store or gas station. They seem to think they need to stand there and give the teller the low down on there ingrown toenail or every other ache or pain in there body. Instead of tellers they should be called listeners. These NOEITEU"s seem to be oblivious to anyone around them."

""Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do."

Anything else is pointless. We all have things that annoy other people [except me ;-) ]."

"I think the NOEITEU's natural habitat is the big box store. So much so that many of them on the payroll there. I won't go so far as to say they work there.

I don't often need to ride city transit and for this I am glad. Recently on the city train, the only person on a train of mostly university students the only person to offer me thier seat was in his 70's. I let him sit, but was a little appalled at the rest of the patrons as I was five months pregnant and carting my toddler, who was not capable of staying standing on the train."

"Oh, I must say, this type of article has been a long time in coming! Like some of the others, I also find myself being guilty of looking like a NOEITEU (although not nearly as obvious as many of the examples you gave) however I feel that the differance in the NOEITEU and those of us who occasionally find ourself in the way of others is that we are surpised and immediately move and appologize.

That said, being handicapped, I have several complaints with the NOEITEU of the world. The non-handicapped who:
1. Park in a handicapped parking place and actually swear at you if you mention it to them.
2. Use a handicap bathroom - when there are several regular open - simply because it's larger.
3. Cut a handicap person off and don't bother to help them with whatever they have dropped because of their rudeness
4. Large groups of NOEITEU use an elevator rather than the nearby stairs leaving handicapped to wait and hope they can make the next one, because unlike the NOEITEU, we don't block the entrance.

I do pray for these people as for myself that I don't allow them to steal my joy.

Oh - and thanks for the laugh Andy! While when it's happening it's not funny in the least, I can honestly say that now with the new title, I suspect I'll find myself laughing at these poor human beings who were unfortunate enough to not have been raised with manners!"

"Andy, you rock!! We have a NOEITEU in our family. Over the last 35 years she has managed to disassociate our entire family from hers (including my brother, her husband). She is always right, far superior to any of us, and will resort to any means to keep us apart. How to handle her??? I pray and ask God to soften her heart and place more importance on the people in her life (estranged though we may be) before it's too late. I pity her. This is probably a more personal exaple of a NOEITEU, but they do exist."

"Y'all are way too hard on us NOEITEU's. I f you would only realize our superior importance and worth in this Universe which was created for US, your lives would be so much easier. We, after all, are the inventors of knowledge and as such are depended on by you EEIMITM's (Everybody Else is More Important Than Me) for an increased prayer life and the polishing of the fruit of the Spirit. Without us, how dull and mundane would your life be? We give you a chance to practice and hone all of those skills that you were taught since childhood. Without us, many preachers would lose the meat for their sermons and the chronic gripers would be totally perplexed and without agendas. (Sorry, I better rescind that last one, they will find something.) Just bear this one thing in mind above all else,,, WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK, because you don't exist. It's ALL about us, so keep praying and forgiving and one day The One who created NOEITU's and EEIMIT's will sort us all out like Sheep and Goats and we won't ever see each other again. That fact alone should improve your prayer life and your evangelistic outreach. Perhaps you will reach some of us yet.
[Sometimes tongue in cheek humor helps our perspective.] WW"

"In a hotel breakfast room near Boston MA I, along with many others, was "treated" to the following scenario: a businessman talking loudly TO his cell phone which was on speakerphone (so we got to enjoy both sides of the conversation) while he was eating his breakfast with food falling out of his mouth as he spoke and with absolutely no concern for the rest of us."

"Yea, I am particularly irritated by those walking through airport terminals with full-on traffic going in both directions who suddenly STOP or turn around because they've remembered something apparently forgotten . . . and I simply say, 'Darling, you stopped right in the middle of traffic.' And I keep walking. I am an etiquette trainer, and I tell people all the time to glance over a shoulder before suddenly stopping or turning, just as they would in a car. (Of course, many don't do it in when in a car. I tend to forgive, but the horn is useful."

"They're a**holes let's admit it. They know they are being rude and just don't care and are not courteous of others. Courtesy and manners are down the toilet as well in this world gone mad."

"There must have been a NOEITEU on the train tonight, leaning against the doors so they could use their cell phone. Finally the conductor got on the PA system and said-excuse me, but Ihave a train full of people trying to get home, could you step outside to use your phone. Apparently they did, the doors shut and we were off. I think we should put buzzers or bells on them, so that in the event they have one of their moments, alarms would go off and we could steer clear."

"We call this the IQ test, usually involving 2 people stading in front of a door that several people are trying to get out. Then they get upset when people say, "Excuse me." Of course it is our fault for wanting to use the door!"

"Unfortunately the first to come to mind is my in-laws. Sweet people that they are (I love them dearly), dad parks in handicapped parking at every opportunity (he used to drive grandpa's car to use grandpa's plates). We were with them one Sunday afternoon, driving 2 cars, and followed them into a gas station. Deciding we needed gas too, we pulled up to the pump behind them. My father in law got out, went in presumably to pay for the gas, came out with snacks for he and mom and then drove off. I said to my husband "Dad forgot his gas!" He said, "no, he parks there cause mom doesn't want to wait in the sun." Top that."

"I must admit that at times I am guilty of being a NOEITEU. When I wake up in the middle of a NOEITEU situation, I apologize and try to correct my behavior.

Far too many times I have allowed a NOEITEU to have a negative impact on my day/life. I am trying to forget the incidents and move on - not that it always works, but I am trying."

"The saddest display of NOEITEU was seen last week at the funeral of a 20 year young man. There were at least 1000 people there and visitation had taken place before the funeral. When the directors realized that time was running short, they opened the doors of the church to allow people to sit down. You would have thought it was the running of the bulls for some people. The "see and be seen" crowd was in full force. I had to laugh watching people practically run to get a seat up front and then save the entire row of seats for no one in particular just whomever they may need to impress by giving them one of their saved seats. I have witnessed it for years at sporting events at the high school...just never thougtht it would happen at a funeral."

"My favorite is the double NOEITEU. When 2 cars pull up side by side to talk to each other - totally oblivious to the fact that they are blocking the entire street and no one can get around them!"

"Well, like Sue, #21, I am handicapped & am so grateful to see the blue H standing like a beacon calling me to the empty spot next to the store entrance. As I begin my turn into the parking spot itself, a large Yukon cuts in front of me, taking the spot & blocking my beacon. Out jumps a 16-17 year old girl, on a cell phone...she looks at me, I point to my 'H' tag on my rear-view mirror...she tucks her phone in her pocket and actually scowls at me, shakes her head seemingly in disgust, and trots off to the store entrance. Wonder what her parents are like...."

"OH THANK YOU ANDY ANDREWS FOR ASKING!!! I would love to tell you my experience.:)
Well, first of all, I call it Center of the Universe Syndrom. I do think it must be an illness, I mean why else would these folks behave in such a way! My favorite experience, in the annoying catagory, happened about two blocks from my home. I live just down the street from a middle school. One day last spring, I was driving passed the school on my way home when the car in front of me abruptly stopped in the middle of the road. Of course I stopped too. I
wondered what was going on up there. Looking around, I noticed a kid on the sidewalk gathering up his backpack and school gear and walking out into the steet towards the stopped car. Apparently this "I'm the center of the universe person" could not be bothered to pull over about 5 feet and park so that his kid could safely enter the car and accompany him to their next destination! ARG! What is that???
Yes, there was another car behind me waiting in line for the kid to get into the car. Man!
Okay, okay, I have been known to behave as if I am the center of the universe at times too. I'm sure we have all had our moments. I find myself rather embarrassed by the fact that I could be so un-conscious. If I'm wrong, I admit it, make apologies where necessary and correct MY behavior. I never (almost never - nobody's perfect) blame.
What can we do about it? We can all improve our own behavior and gently remind those that have forgotten that there are other people (to say the least) around here too.
Caution is recommended.
Have a great day! Andy, you're the best. I love your work!
Many Blessings to You,
Shantelle Jennings:0)"

"I teach my children that good manners are a good way to let people know that they are important. Also I add... you are not the only pea in the pod."

"Every day at work.... a coworker will take the last of something, doesn't bother to recopy or add more, or refill what every---and doesn't have a clue of all the people who have to take care of this!!!! I've even gone to the ladies room after her----yup, no toilet paper on the roll. (there is a spare roll on the back of the toilet) I try to ignore it. If I say anything her comment back is "well you don't have to yell at me about it""

"Thanks, Andy. There is now a name for these yahoos. They all seem to be on the road at the same time as I am. Get a clue! Be considerate of others wherever you are. I have made sure that my son has learned to be considerate of others wherever he goes."

"I work at a library and I just can't stand it when someone comes in to check out a book and they are on their cell phone and keep talking as if I am not there! I just wonder what happen to manners. I tell my 16 year old son, your sense of entitlement that the world owes you something blows my mind when in fact you owe the world and God to do your very best.
By the way I bought your book The Noticer for the library and had patrons read it and then when they bring it back we discuss it!
God Bless You!"

"Once a week I like to help donate to the FL education fund by purchasing a lottery ticket. The grocery store where I purchase said ticket has one place to purchase those tickets. After coming in the door you are to walk to the left and come back thru a roped area for ticket purchasers. There are signs that say "enter" and "exit". Several times there is no one in line but I still follow the rules and go around to the "enter" only to find that someone has come in the "exit" and is purchasing a long list of tickets. I know that with that kind of conduct they could never win.

Also I question your energy drink of choice. You should be drinking Xocai XE which is cocoa based and full of super fruits. This is the healthy one."

"Sometimes, I struggle with this. I don't really mean to be rude; sometimes I just forget what I am doing or where I am. (Mostly because I don't rest enough) Somtimes my boss is screaming for my attention and I just run to get to where they want me to be. I feel bad when I am skirting around people.
My biggest NOEITEU complaint is people who honk the very second the light turns and there is still traffic in the lane. Or people that expect you to step aside for them."

"Andy--I "liked" your blog only because there is not yet a "love" button!! My most recent experience w/ a NOEITEU happened tonight while I was at work. A young guy asked to use our store phone after finding that we didn't carry the type of phone charger he needed for his cell, which apparently was dead. He couldn't get our store phone to work correctly, so he asked to use my personal cell phone to make a local call. He seemed a little stressed, so I thought I would let him use my phone, presumably to call someone to pick him up or something of that nature. No. Overhearing the conversation (b/c I didn't want to get too far away from someone who has my cell phone) I was surprised to learn that he was calling a girlfriend (?) who was mad at him for some reason to see if he could patch things up until he could see her the next day. This was also 5 minutes of conversation on my cell phone, 5 minutes before we closed. Really? He didn't even have the good grace to be embarrassed about his behavior.
I wish there were some way to politely point out to someone that their behavior isn't appreciated or acceptable without leaving any room for misinterpretation. Unfortunately, I am one of those poor souls who thinks of wonderful come-backs AFTER the fact. I'm still working on one for the guy I ran into tonight, though..."

"I think the NOEITEU's mantra must be "It's all about ME!", said wise-eyed and as mentioned earlier oblivious to anyone or anything else."

"Great Article! I feel your frustration with these people, NOEITEU's! My question is, how do these people get jobs, who hires these people? In this tough job market, you would think NOEITEU would be the one's challenged in a job interview."

"What a wonderful, and needed, post. The 'cosmically oblivious' are out in force! I especially notice this among young people, who I can only assume have learned no better at their parents' knee. Love the moniker!"

"You've simplified something I rant about frequently: people who are totally oblivious to all the other people around them.

I almost knocked a woman over yesterday. I was walking into work behind her. She was wheeling one of those suitcase/briefcase things, and stopped right in front of me.

I stopped at the grocery store on the way home, and another woman almost ran me over with her shopping cart when she plowed out of an aisle with her head turned around to talk to her boyfriend.

I haven't found an effective way to deal with this. It depends on the situation and the mood I'm in. I usually just let it go."

"1) I have had many encounters and seen many of these strange creatures over the years. It seems like they are not on the endangered species list. I also must admit that I have, in moments of extreme mental lapse and disconnection with my surroundings, emulated them occasionally. Their habits can be 'habit forming' if you are not careful'.
2) To quote Earl Nightengale, "Treat them as if they are the most important person in the universe". Make them feel as important as they think they are. It will not only brighten their day, it may shock them enough that they will no longer be NOEITUs. Continue repeating this treatment, especially for difficult cases, until it either works, or you are no longer in the area. Don't worry, there are many more where that one came from. Even if this treatment does not work on them, it will brighten your day, and for those of us who are ITUs, you will automatically identify yourself and brighten our day as well!!!. And the Universe will smile and treat you accordingly."

"Andy, Thanks for bringing up this subject! I believe we have become a world where people are so self-centered and rushed that we can be oblivious to our surroundings. I know that I can be so into thought that I have been a NOEITEU at times but when I realize it I do apologize to the person on the receiving end. I have been is some situations where people are talking in the middle of the grocery isle or blocking an entrance way and there are other people just waiting for the offenders to move. I think we need to politely say "excuse me you are blocking the isle" or something to that effect. We need to speak up and be assertive (not aggressive) so that these people realize what they are doing.

I am always taking time with my 14 year old twin boys to make these types of situations "teaching opportunites" so that they will know how to handle themselves whenever they come across a particular situations occurs. It is a great feeling when I see them using their newly learned skills!"

"I look at them as bad weather--this too shall pass. Thanks now I have a new word in my vocabulary!"

"I live across the street from 3 of them. 2 of the are married and each drives a SVU, and the guy next door has a boat of a car. We have lived here for 8 years, it didn't bother me for the first several years as we only had one car and could park on our driveway or our garage. We live right next to an alley. These people park in such a way that they take up 4 parking spots, and if we want to park on our side of the street we have to park half way down the street, or the other side of the street. The other side of the street is not desirable as we now have 5 small children, and the cars fly down our street. Me and my neighbor can never park anywhere near our own houses. To make matters worse, the guy with the boat of a car, leaks oil so badly he has to add oil to it every day, now we have huge oil stains in the street in front of our house. I have always figured, these people surely can see that I am very pregnant or have a tiny baby and will give us a break and let us park in front of the house so we can load/unload children and groceries or whatever else. Nope not once. Not sure what is wrong with their side of the street or their own garages, they have 3 of them? Looks just as nice as ours. You don't want to say anything since you have to live with these people everyday. Also think for the rest of these people, life is too short to be in a hurry why rush? Patience is a virtue."

"I know these people. I always thought they came from the Land of Oblivious. My most recent run in was at a charity event where I was working and trying to get down a crowded aisle. Mrs. NOEITEU was standing in the aisle talking to her friends. I said excuse me several times without so much as a indication that I even existed. She even moved to let people go by from the other direction but refused to acknowledge me. Finally I had to almost shout in her ear. EXCUSE ME, I'M TRYING TO WORK HERE AND NEED TO GET BY.
What a pain.
What should we do with them? I guess cattle prods or shock collars are out of the question. I'm not talking about large voltage, just enough to jolt them back into reality."

"I never saw a sign that stated "NOETIEU" Entrance at the theater, but there they are, five or six people who step inside the door, and that's where they stop to make the big decision...where to sit. Example: "Ed, you've never been here, where do you think we should sit?" or, "Polly, you've been here before...what do you think?"
I'll bet "Ed" doesn't really care...probably wishes he was someplace else. And, Polly, being a NOEITEU super star, oblivious to the theater patrons behind her, is about to become the first human welcome mat."

"We as a society don't police each other like folks used to do. There was a time when someone would have said or done something to correct other people's behavior, whether they knew them or not. Older folks still do. But we're afraid to stand up. We think being educated, good people means we can't tell someone: your pants look ridiculous around your ankles, young man; PULL YOUR PANTS UP. Without that, people go on thinking everything's ok. I believe Dolly Parton said once that she would see people on the street and think to herself, 'Someone has lied to you.' I think we have whole generations like that. It's like we're a society devoid of real mothers and fathers anymore. Wisdom is hard to come by."

"The other day while waiting in line at Taco bell, I ran in to a "Noetieu." This was on a busy college campus, so most of us were in a rush to get our food and then hit the books; hoewever, there was a "Noeiteu" holding us up. The line was already long, which should have given him plenty of time to decide what he wanted before he got to the front, but instead of just ordering, he had to ask about everything that was on the menu and how it tasted. Why? Obviously he wanted the girls number who was taking orders, he failed. lol O well haha
I wanted to write you though and thank you for some of your amazing works. About a Months ago, I was fortunate enough to come across one of your books, "the Noticer," It was absolutely amazing! I consider it one of the best books I've ever read, and as soon as I was finished, I jumped on Amazon and ordered "The Travelers gifts" and "The Lost Choice" and Ive read them both. Amazing! thank you!"

"Have you ever been in a high school parking lot right after school lets out? They are full of Noetieu."

"Andy, thanks as always for your humorous insight. I am working hard to NOT be raising two young Noetieu, and so I point them out to my adolescents when we are together. Thankfully, when we are constantly plowed over by Noetius, talking on cells or texting or Facebooking or..or...or..it's easy to point out that it makes a terrible first impression. When I have picked myself up and dusted myself off from these collisions, usually in a shopping arena of some kind, I always say with a really bright smile, "Oh, excuse me. I'm so sorry to have been in the way." I'm generally met with total confusion or a great, big scowl! (To which I often grin and wave.) So glad to know that it's not just my being 4'10" tall and therefore, invisible, which prompts these human fender-benders.

Thanks, Andy, for all of your work. I saw you speak at the Honda Center in Anaheim last month (amazing!) and read The Noticer, Travelers Gifts and Lost Choice since. I ordered 10 copies of the Noticer to give to all of my adult family members. It was a blessing."

"As a therapist for at-risk youth at a residential facility, the biggest challenge for our young men and women is entitlement. There self-serving attitudes are often the result of errors in parenting and other times can be traced back to a trauma that left them feeling "owed" by the world. It still comes down to the same thing, however. "Whereas the pain you went through was not fair and so dreadful. It is time to move on to contribute to the world, not seek revenge." I add when talking to my clients, "It doesn't really matter why you are selfish, rude, or just a nasty person to be around. Your spouse or boss one day won't care. They will just send you packing if the attitude doesn't change. What matters is that health and growth happen."

I believe that we are all self-serving to a degree, sometimes that is called "boundaries". For example, "No, I can't come clean out your garage. My house is a mess and I'm needed more at home right now." But as you, Andy, have eloquently put it, the butterfly effect is real. I want to know my garbage man's name. I try to leave the store clerk smiling even when he line is 15 people deep. Sometimes it makes me smile when two cars are pulled to the side of the road because it represents human contact being made. I'm happy to drive around that exchange. My precious parents taught me to leave things better than I found them. That means picking up others physical garbage and remembering that we are often big kids walking around in these adult bodies. I'm a tough therapist that gives little slack and holds "tough" teens accountable. Since having my own children, I have become more effective in adding some sugar to my message of accountability. Say it with a sincere smile and people respond so much better."

"I have spotted several of these people. yesterday driving out of the fast food place that I purchased my coffee from, the entire line of cars exiting was blocked because a lady was standing in the lane talking to the people in the first car!
Then there are the people who use the drive thru windows to purchased 8 or nine full course meals and are very upset when they pull up and their order is not complete!
I believe that prayer is the only answer."

"All of us are NOEITEU until we are toilet trained. Then it is of course the job of the parent to direct the child to becoming a balanced self sustaining member of society. Self absorption, narcissim, various form of egocentricity & meglomania are characteristics once allowed to royalty and the very rich. Nowdays it is vaunted as a sign of elitism & esteemed exclusiveness.
Christendom has always lauded the servant heart as righteous & desirable.
The present world of me, my, mine is building ranks of users and takers that are paving the road to nowhere.
Response to the average NOEITU can be just as to the un-potty trained infant. Make a face like something smells bad....talk baby talk to them.....ask them if mommy lets them act like that at home....and the statement " it is not all bout you" sometimes works....I find that acting like a third grader towards the NOEITEU can relieve stress and be fun( 'hey look everybody, that______acts like a big baby'). Of course sugar brings more ants than vinegar but sometimes them ants bite and sting....and vinegar can remove stains..."

"You said it well, Andy. The NOEITEU may not have had the benefit of family and friends such as you and I have had. The easiest thing to do (although not the right choice, I assure you) is to be unkind in our thoughts and actions toward these unfortunate souls.
The polite way to interact (or at least act in their presence!) is with grace. To apologize for their inconvenience which we "caused" by our presence. Manners are not improved by our society when we forget ours as a way of 'teaching' someone else not to forget theirs!"

"HAHA! I am forever reminding my adult friends to say 'please' and 'thank you'! I know I get on their last nerve (like Patsy likes to say ;-), but I just can't seem to help it. I taught my kids (now 31 and 21) to have manners, and that mom in me has never left. I saw you this weekend in Sacramento, and thank you soo much for your lively (aka scattered), yet meaninful, talks with us. (Our ADD church bass player was at the conference, too, and she definitely felt you as a kindred spirit --- she can't sit still for a 30-minute sermon ;-) Thanks again for giving us great things to think about and apply!"

"Self- absorbed, snobbish,and so on, the descriptions of a NOEITEU, start to add up.
Does the movie Clueless come to mind?
Home is where the heart is, learning starts at home."

"I know a NOEITEU that flies first class almost everyday. He arrives at the gate just as it is time to board, walks up to the front not looking to see who might have been there before him (or else is just ignoring them) and when they call for first class passengers, he charges ahead to get on the plane first. Love it that you have identified these rude people."

"This is from a son in law as he related it to me in the past week.
Sunday night grocery shopping...WOW!!!! On the very first aisle that I came to tonight an older woman(maybe in her late 60s)had two carts blocking the aisle. I patiently waited for her to move. I was in no hurry. After she moved I passed her and her comment directed at me...."what an a$$hole". I was shocked. I normally am very quick witted and can fire back with the best of them, but tonight I just wasn't ready. I simply asked if she was talking to me. She informed me that she was. I told her that I was sorry for whatever I had done to inconvenience her. And I moved along. WOuldn't you know it,......there she was on the next aisle AGAIN. I decided to apologize again and see just how I offended her. She told me that I didn't thank her for moving. I told her that I had just had a really crummy week at work and just wan't thinking and I apologized again. She informed me that she had had plenty of crummy weeks and that I was still an a$$hole. Ok.....at this ;point I decided that I needed to pass her on every aisle for the rest of the shopping trip. She wasn't hard to find as she smelled like an ash tray. On each aisle (about 9 passes) I gave her the BIGGEST God loves you smile I could muster. After about the 4th or 5th pass she started to smile back. We checked out at the same time......I left just seconds before her. As I left I stopped for one last wave and a smile. She smiled and waved back......and called me an a$$hole once again. I kinda like this lady.....however if this is a sign of how this next week is going to be.........I am out......selling all I have and living in a van down by the river."

"I have been a NOEITEU more often than I'd like to admit. I would however like to tell the story behind it. I have a daughter who is chronically ill and sometimes I get news that completely blocks out all other input. Being told never or always in connection with your child is almost guarenteed to turn you into a NOEITEU. Sometimes I haven't had more than 3 hours of interrupted sleep for weeks on end and I've cleaned up so much vomit and dealt with so much tantrums that all I can see is the task ahead of me and I don't notice you behind. I try hard to appear to have it all together, but often I don't. So next time you run into a NOEITEU give them some grace, they may be in the worst time of their life."

"I witness issues with the NOEITEU many times in the workplace where he/she is the one who feels totally entitled to whatever someone else works so hard to achieve, whether it be praise, financial success or simply common courtesy, dignity and respect.

We see these individuals when the boss strives to promote 'team work' but the NOEITEU sits back and says "not my job". Yet when the cudos and rewards come down to the entire staff, the NOEITEU struts his or her stuff and brays what a good worker he/she is.

I see so many people in my own workplace who are in the front of the line for whatever rewards are handed out but who just won't commit to helping with the job at hand.

Unfortunately, there are those that many times won't acknowledge or even respond when offered gifts, deeds or acts of kindness or sharing either. Those are the ones who hurt the most."

"RESPONSE TO HEIDI FRENCH:
Hi Heidi,
Wow! That was powerful and moving. Thank you for sharing your perspective. You're right, we never know what is going on in the lives of the people around us. A little compassion goes a long way. When I judge and get angry at the person blocking my way, it doesn't leave a lot of room for compassion and kindness. If kind and compassionate is what I aspire to be, in todays world, there are many opportunities to practice. I'm going to remember that. Thank you!
Many Blessings to You,
Shantelle:0)"

"Ouch!.... I myself is a NOEITEU at somepoint in my life but leanred to be more mindful of my surroundings. I do hope that my kids stay well mannered as they are today. We were at a warehouse store quite a while ago & my daughter & son were shopping on their own. I was approached by an older woman & asked if the two were my kids. I wondered why she asked & must have shown on my face then she said that "I did a good job raising them because they are so polite." Made me chuckle, I said thank you. Of course the two kids were beside me at this time & smiled at her. My daughter is 19 & my son is 14 then. Makes me so thrilled inside but then on occassion they act like "NOEITEU". Some times when I run into these kind of people, I say, "excuse me" or "you're welcome" some turn around & say "sorry" or "thank you" and most will just go on like they never heard you or give you the "look". I believed some people are not as aware that they are being a NOEITEU. Some are so busy & so focused on what they need to do that they blocked everything else around them. Just like the guy you saw in the airport. I can be that way but as I get older, wiser & more mature, I've learned & still learning to be more empathetic & kind to people that I meet everyday."

"Yes, they walk among us. They are a product of OUR society. If you wish for them to change, then be a good mentor."

"The NOEITEU's in our lives are certainly everywhere aren't they. Whenever I "run into" one of them, I try my best to be a gentleman just the same. Why be offended by them, or even think more than a brief moment about the situation? If, like we've been taught, the butterfly affect truly works, then an action to do something and think something positive will do more good to influence their future actions than being disgusted and feeling sorry for them. Many times their actions are simply a display of them being overwhelmed, over-stressed, or maybe just misunderstood. Maybe if we give them a break, we'll get one when it's our turn. I know I could use a break every now and then:)"

"As a reformig doormat, I've had at least one Noeiteu in my life as a "friend" ever since I can remember. Until I befriended a Noeiteu who was also mentally ill and abusive, God used that person whom I called a neighber [and who in return called me 'slave'] to propel me into a boudary driven individual. I am free and in the process of growing up, I've found that Noeiteu's are slaves to a need for attention that cannot be satisfied. Even Christian Noeiteu's are not satisfied and more often than not are jealous of God's grandure. Being the eternal optimist, I share stories about growing up with Noeiteu's. I have been known to buy them books about maturing - like the ones put out by Women of Faith and Andy Andrews - ones that are not accusing, just encouraging. [I also thank God for opening my eyes and try to keep my focus and judgment on my thoughts, attitudes and actions.]"

"I believe we all run into several of these NOEITEU's in our life. They do make me thankful that I taught my children to be considerate of others and now we are working on our grandchildren.
My youngest daughter has the habit of when someone is rude to her, she says "Oh, I am sorry that I was here first and decided to step in your path when you were absorbed in yourself!". Sure makes people look at her and hopefully they will think next time. Prayers that we learn to teach our children, grandchildren, friends, and family we are all important to each other and should treat each other with respect."

"I know exactly what you speak of Andy! I think I have one of these in my family. Every time I would have dinner with my family. It always came down to that last dinner roll. And right before I would reach to grab it. My brother would snatch it right up from under my nose! As if "no one else in the entire universe" would be interested in that last roll. Well I guess I am just as guilty as he is. I guess in this case "you snooze you lose"! And I definitely lost!!"